Kevo's Top 10 Movies of 2000-2009

Top 10 Movies from first tenth of the Century…….dun dun duuunnn

Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? It feels weird coming back to my old unemployment job (no, I didn’t get fired, I took maternity leave, and his name is Frederick). As many of you know, I used this website to promote “creative thinking” while I was warming up in the bullpen until I was called up to the big leagues for a job. That call came, and now I can feed Frederick.

I know many of you were hoping for a new movie review. That is currently in the works, so don’t start bitching just yet. I did, however, decide to give you all a little somesin’ somesin’ before someone “leaks” my review. So, what do I bring you….

KEVO’S TOP 10 MOVIES FROM THE FIRST TEN YEARS OF 2000

When you read that, it should be read like a comic book narrator who has a deep voice and something evil is being plotted. Now, I got this idea from a website that did the top 10 movies of the 90’s. Yea, it’s not a clever idea by me, but it is evil that I am jumping them on the next decade. Joblow.com 0 – Kevo 1.

• Just before I get into it, I will preface it by saying a few things. There will be a few Independent films. Indy people say “films”, I’m not sure why, but I think it has to do with them being snobby douchers who wear funny hats that White House interns wear when they blow the president. I started this site to get people out of their shell and see movies they may never have seen.
• I won’t put them in order of hierarchy. There is not point to that. The movies are going to be contested by people, so why contest it even more by saying my shitty picks are put in an even shittier order. Homie don’t play that.
• There will be a wide range of categories. I can’t put a list of just Jerry Bruckheimer movies just because you like watching the guy blow up more shit than Al Qaeda. Different movies with different tastes.
• Lastly, if your favorite movies are either Twilight or Pirates of the Caribbean, re evaluate your life. People in their 20’s shouldn’t be adoring movies with shitless teenage boys and old smelly pirates. That means you’re either a pedophile, or gold digging whore. Plus, ninjas trump both vampires and pirates without them even knowing it, because they’re that stealth.

Without further wait, and more of me rambling on, my best attempt at a top 10

1. SNATCH (2000)– Ooooo boy, this movie makes my pants tighten up. Snatch has an incredible cast that is part of an even better script/plot/twist. I will always watch this movie, and will give a second look to any movies that come out of the UK, because that’s just how good this movie is. It would have been better if Michael Vick made a cameo in the dog fighting scene. Too soon?
2. SPIDER MAN (2002) – Ya, it’s not one of my favorite movies, but it started the comic book craze. There may have been others before it, but this one took the concept and destroyed the box office with it, until Aquaman of course. To the people making a remake of this ALREADY, I wish only the worst during production (like actually being bitten by a spider and finding out that you don’t get super powers, you die).
3. CITY OF GOD (2002) – This is a must see at one point in your life. You will know absolutely no one who is a part of this movie, but at the end, you will celebrate what they have done. Movies that don’t have much budgeting dollars should mimic how this movie came to be #18 on IMDB’s top 250. Also, it made me appreciate movies that are so good, you don’t even care you about subtitles.
4. GLADIATOR (2000) - This movie, along with Saving Private Ryan, were the first few DVD’s I got. They also, to this day, are the best. NOBODY hates Gladiator. Nobody SHOULD hate Gladiator. Perfectly acted (hence the Oscar), scripted, and shot. Strength and Honor.
5. BATMAN BEGINS (2005) – I know many people want to say DARK KNIGHT was way better, which in many cases, I would agree. But, would you even have that movie without this? No, of course not. BB relaunched a dying franchise that needed to take Marvel Comics off their high horse. Speaking of horses, this one didn’t have Maggie Gyllenhaal, which makes it better in that aspect.
6. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009) – Never being much of a Tarantino fan (he’s alright); I definitely enjoyed him more during this movie. It took a tragic history, and turned it into a clever concept. Also, Christopher Waltz plays one of the most intelligent, diabolically, classy evil characters. I won’t say it was Quentin’s best movie, for fear of being murdered by Tarantinhoes (what I call people who live and die by his work), but it is one of them.
7. FINDING NEMO (2003)/WALL-E (2008) – Come oooooonnnn. Your gay side wanted a Pixar movie on this list. I have heard WALL-E is great (still have to see it), so I included it with Finding Nemo. I love that little retarded fish. All other Pixar movies were good but not quite as enjoyable, with exception to Ratatouille. I hope they make a Pixar short before the next movie comes out and have it be that rat looking for cheese to put in his dish, and he gets his head splattered by a trap. I watched it with a girl, and to make it worse, didn’t even get any. To hell with French people.
8. THE DEPARTED (2006) – Easy choice. Great director, cast, and script. Nicholson shines, Decaprio whines, and Marky Mark plays bad cop. Nothing more to be said.
9. THE WRESTLER (2008) – If you have ever owned a Wrestling Buddy (I had the Ultimate Warrior, aahh thank you), then you loved this movie. Not only did it capture the issue surrounding wrestling (addiction to steroids, prescription pain killers, and Speedos), but it added a love interest for the ladies. I’m not sure if women like this movie, but I feel they would. It also rejuvinated the careers of Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei (including her boobies). I guarantee you will be putting your brother in a headlock in the scene where he walks through the back entrance of the meat counter like he’s about to enter the ring. BA$NK.
   
   Last but not least, we have to pick a comedy, right? Well, there are quite a few. Will it be American Pie, the “movie of our decade” as it was called? How about Wedding Crashers? Superbad was funny, right? Well, to finish the list strong is…….
   

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST. No, just kidding. I’m going to hell for that joke.

10. Old School (2003) – If you look at all the great comedies in this decade, they probably involved one of these guys in some fashion. Anchorman, Wedding Crashers, etc. It will go down as one of the best college movies, and they aren’t technically in college. “Actually, funny thing sir, they found a loophole”. Is it weird to anyone else that Ari Gold and his wife are both in this, but not together?

So, there ya have it, my top 10. I know there are some that were left off the list, so I will acknowledge them the best I can: Almost Famous, The Prestige, Superbad, Pirates movies, Lord of the Rings movies, Mystic River, A Beautiful Mind, Kill Bills, Collateral, Requiem for a Dream, etc.

Kevo Hates Dance Montages

Did you understand the title? No, well you're retarded. This segment of the Kevo Blog is about Dance Montages. Before I start this, I will give a major Shout Out to Kaylan. You are a great fan, and will forever be an inspiration. Thanks for all of the support.

Are you familiar with a montage? If you aren't, the word "montage" in dictionary.com (no free advertisements, so for your own sake don't go there because of me, I get no money) means: "A single pictorial composition made by juxtaposing or superimposing many pictures or designs". Put the word "Dance" in front of it, it translates to "A gay pictorial composition made by juxtaposing or superimposing many pictures or designs." Aka, an 80's or 90's dance situation that is unnecessary, unreal, and nobody wanted to happen in the first place. So, what are the most stupid ones I have ever seen? Without further or due, I make fun of......

1) Encino Man

Did you see this movie? O, I'm sorry, you probably didn't see this piece of crap in between the other shitty Paulie Shore movies called "Bio Dome", "Son in Law", and "In The Army Now". O, you saw them, well......you saw the best of them. This movie had a great dance montage at the end, where the caveman created a dance that he did once, and aaaaallllll of a sudden, everyone performed at the same time. This, of course, was at the climax of the movie where it was exposed that the Encinoman, was...........an ECINOMAN. Sorry to kill the ending.



Who cares about cool anyway, right?

2) Ferris Bueller

How could you make fun of a great movie like this, right? Well, yea. I can't. But, you can be damn sure I'm gonna make fun of the stupid dance sequence that comes from his "Twist and Shout" montage. Yea, it's in between the part where Ferris doesn't get caught, and where Ferris doesn't get caught. Remember it? Well, not only does he not have all the diseases the school made up for him, he actually DANCES during his "ailness". Hey Ferris, I'm with your sister....Fuck You.



I'm sorry, I couldn't find the real scene. Does this help, or hurt my point? Honestly, I just wanted to see the black dude cesures down the steps. Sweeeeeeet.

3) Teen Wolf

God Damnit! I Love Michaeal J. Fox. Not in a gay way, but pretty close to it. Back to the Future, Back to the Future 2, um.....Back to the Future 3? Who cares, he was awesome enough in the first one. However, in Teen Wolf, I have to question it all. I loved how it played out, and it's climactic ending in the basketball game. But the ending? Why do ALL 80's MOVIES HAVE TO END IN AWESOME PROM OR HOMECOMING DANCES? Am I wrong? No, here's an example. Everyone, do the Wolf.....



4) Steve Urkel

What? This isn't a movie? How could Kevo do this?

Want to know how? Because I can. I grew up on this show. It's called "Family Matters" and it rocked. Yea, if you haven't seen it, you: 1, suck. And 2, obviously aren't from Chicago. Because........

It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper page.
Love and tradition of the grand design,
some people say it's even harder to find.

However, how could I hate on this show. O, thats right, just like this.

Steve Urkel Dance

Yea, I know I don't have the video. The video is installed. However, if you can get a group of 5 or more at a party to do this dance, it's a Kevo promise, I will give you $50. No joke. Send it to me, and I will literally give you $50.

5) Wedding Montages

O, look at us, we're so funny. We can make everyone in our party do exactly the same thing that is on the internet.

You're uncreative. Stop trying to act like walking down the isle to a "dance" is like creating a new section of the Bible. EVERYONE IS DOING IT! How many times do I have to see some person post a video of their wedding party doing a "wedding montage". Want to know what would get more hits? How about posting a video of someone saying "no". Ever seen that on Youtube? Of course not, because it's more original than someone coming out to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

Kevo Out

Kevo's Movie Trivia

As I've stated before, I look up movie facts after I watch a movie. Most recent movie I have seen, At Close Range, starring Sean Penn, Christopher Walken, and Chris Penn. It was made in 1986, and as much as I wish it was a top notch movie, it wasn't, hence why I don't really want to do a movie review. In short, 2.5/5 Kevo's. However, seeing as two great actors were apart of it, I had another great idea. And what is that, you might ask yourself. How about a couple of fun trivia facts that you may, or may not, know that could get you laid the next time your out at the bars. Ok, maybe not, but they are worthwhile.

What actor/actresses have the most Academy Award wins (main and supporting)?

Katharine Hepburn - 4
Jack Nicholson - 3
Ingrid Bergman - 3
Walter Brennan - 3
Meryl Streep - 2 (has been nominated the most of anyone with 16 noms. And the biggest loser award goes to.....)
And many more with 2, including Denzel, Hanks, Penn, De Niro, Brando, and Day-Lewis

What movie holds the record for most expensive, and what movie holds the record for highest gross?

Most Expensive - Pirates of the Carribbean At Worlds End: $300 million. What a waste of money
Highest Gross - Avatar: $2.76 Trillion Worldwide Gross. And who holds the #2 spot: Titanic. It's official, James Cameron truly is "King of the World".

What movie holds the record for most Oscar Wins?

It's a 3 way tie. Mmmmm, sexy.

Titanic (most Oscar noms. as well with 14), Ben-Hur, and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King have all won 11 Oscars.

Sorry if you are a fan, but really? LOTR 3 was not that good, at all. I may be the only one who thinks so, but while it was happening, I felt it kept dragging on and wouldn't end (that's what she said). To make it even worse, when it finally ended, the audience did that thing when they all clap and holler. NO ONE WHO MADE THE MOVIE IS IN THE AUDIENCE YOU RETARDS, SO STOP CLAPPING! It's like trying to yell at a def guy, be as loud as you want, but they're not going to heeaar yoouu. Hello, McFly!

O, and more props to James Cameron on this list. Coincidence his initials are J.C.? I think not....

What was the first movie to feature nudity by a lead actor?

Audrey Muson appeared nude in the 1915 silent film Inspiration. A woman who is nude and silent? Brilliant! Too bad the 19th Amendment ruined everything.

What actor has appeared in the most movies ever?

We need to seperate this into two catergories. O, and Porn doesn't count.

Mr. Mel Blanc has been in the most movies ever with 1014 (using IMDB), but mostly as a voice. Still counts though.

What actor has appeared the most in a leading role? That is the one, the only.......JOHN WAYNE! That's right partner, The Duke reigns supreme.

And because I know you were curious, it's Ron Jeremy with over 2,000 films. Times that by the size of his penis in inches, and you get 785,394,302.

What is the most successful low-budget film ever made?

I'm sure many of you aren't surprised with The Blair Witch Project. It had a $600,000 budget, and grossed roughly $249 million worldwide. This attributes to it as the highest ratio of box office sales to production costs. It also spawned the use of using a viral internet campaign for advertisement.

What movie has the most sequels?

Is it a scary movie, like Friday the 13th or Halloween? Perhaps the Land Before Time series? The James Bond Franchise with 22? Is it Amateur Sluts, with over 200? Well, excluding porn movies again, the winner is....

Godzilla. Based on some research and excluding retarded Foreign Films like Huang Fei-hong zhuan: Bian feng mie zhu which has 88 sequels, Godzirra is the winner. Sorry, trying to pronounce that Huang movie made me pronounce Godzilla like an asian. It was a tight race, but the big lizard wins, as always.


Well, there ya have it. I don't really have any more to put up, but if you send me a interesting trivia question on facebook, I'll add it to this list.

You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Kevo?

Damnit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter!

5 Movies That Upset Kevo's Future Dreams

Alright, back with another addition of the Kevo Movie Blog. It's late at night and I'm very upset. I know, I know, you're probably upset too. Cause you saw that VT vs. Boise State football game too. No? Well, I guess if you didn't, then you don't understand why I put out a death warrant on that old fuck Musburger like the firemen did on the Muslims who want to build a mosque at the 9/11 site. I hope BSU bends over and takes a train full of Idaho potatoes in their asses. Too harsh, well, you might want to not read the rest of the things that ruined my childhood dreams.

1) Total Recall

Kevo, you are upset that we haven't landed on Mars, or have no possiblity of landing on Mars at any point soon? No, that is not why I am upset. I first watched that movie with my Uncle, Uncle Leif (yes, that is his name. He is of Nordish decent, so automatically deemed a badass). Good ol Uncle Leif loves all movies that start with Schwarz, and end with Negger. That's an "e" you racists. He loves Arnie, and Total Recall was the first movie that I saw boobs in (if you understand the Kevo rating, that gets an automatic extra point in the system). Did I see 1, yes. did I see 2, yes. Did I see 3, YES! Have I ever seen 3 boobs on a girl ever, NOOOOOO! Therefore, Total Recall has not lived up to the hype. I have yet to see 3 boobs in my lifetime (at one time that is).

2) Little Big League

This is one of those movies that came out along with another movie very similar. A few come to mind; Deep Impact and Armageddon, Antz and A Bug's Life, Rookie of the Year and Little Big League.

"Some pitchers like to ice up their arms after a game, while others feel that HEAT is the answer. I’ve found the solution Henry…HOT ICE! I just heat up, the ice cubes. Its the best of both worlds!" Mad props to my old band Hot Ice.

This movie DESTROYED everything that I wanted as a kid. When I was fielding ground balls like the "vacuum" they used to call me, I figured "Kevo, if this doesn't work out, you can always manage a baseball team by your teenage years and ride that til college". O, could I?
NO. I couldn't. And if you find the asshole whole actually got to manage a baseball team (fantasy doesn't count dorks), then take that pine tar, and have Sosa cork his butthole. I HAD DREAMS!

3) Back To The Future

Congratulations BTTF on your 25 years of respect from nerds, Michael J Fox, and Huey Lewis fans everywhere. You have established this movie as one to look to the future, because if we can't solve our problems now, lets go back in time and change it so it all works now. Or, as I like to refer to it as, the movie that made everything look within reach, actually be WAY TO FAR INTO THE FUTURE. Let's have a look...

Still can't fly a car, ride a hoverskateboard, or have a creepy old man hang out with a teenage boy. Sales for white vans everywhere have tanked since.

I was fully expecting to be able to fly to school by now. I used to read the ads in the back of "Boys Life" magazine and see the "hovercraft vehicle" that was easily assembled with a vacuum motor and spare parts around your house. O, was it easy? Why don't you tell that to my friend Jimmy who we now call Nemo because he got his arm cut off from that product. And you thought my dreams were killed...

4) National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation

Please, when I reference any of the National Lampoons movies, take it as a grain of salt. They are all exceptional, especially Christmas Vacation (don't you just wish you had an Uncle Eddie?). However, have you ever been gambling? Cause I sure as hell have, and never have I had this happen...

"Well, four slot machines and I won four cars. You know, I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car."

Hey, Papa Georgio, go put a dollar in your dick hole, because THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO ANYONE! Last time I gambled, this happened.

"O, you know Dad. I put a dollar in, I lost. I put a dollar in, I lost my car. I put a dollar in, I got crabs". Go back to Yuma Arizona.

5) Ten Things I Hate About You

This movie had a lot of things going for them at the time. Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Alex Mac. What it didn't have, was high hopes for anyone who wished to sing "You're Just Too Good To Be True" by Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons at a karaoke event on their cruise to Alaska. Was it I, Kevo, who dared to take the plunge in karaoke by his lonesome on a cruise ship.......yes. Did I succeed? No, and unfortunately, there is video evidence to prove this. 30 seconds of it to be exact. What did I learn?

Autotune isn't just used in music, it's used in movies too.

I can sing as good as Hasselhoff can stay sober.

Alcohol may make you think can sing, but just like crabs, your humility will last forever.

So there you have it. 5 Movies that made me have high hopes as a kid, but never came true.

P.S. I never had crabs you idiots. I had the clap.

August 31st Movie of the Week

Wild Wild West

Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Writers: Jim Thomas, John Thomas, S.S. Wilson (there are more butwho cares, this sucked. However, if you find these guys, punch them in the dick)

Actors:
Will Smith - Cowboy
Kevin Kline - Some special agent Cowboy. A real life Woody.
Kenneth Branagh - Cripple
Salma Hayek - Boobs McGee

Ratings: 4.3/10 on IMDB
21% on Rotten Tomatoes

Yep, in case you haven't caught on yet, this one's going to be a fun review.

Trailer: Wild Wild West

Plot Summary: Here's what an IMDB person put.
Jim West is a guns-a-blazing former Civil War hero. Artemus Gordon is an inventive U.S. Marshal who excels in disguise. When the United States is threatened by psychotic Confederate Arliss Loveless, President Ulysses Grant teams the duo up to bring him to justice. On a hazard-packed train journey from Washington to Utah, West and Gordon must combine their skills to best Loveless and his diabolical machines.

Here's what I put.

Two white guys (one's disguised as a black guy) team up to save the United States from an evil cripple. With one of the dumbest movie concepts around, these two Brokeback Mountain cowboys try to save the U.S., while destroying their acting credibility.

Mine's a little more accurate, don't ya think?

Things I would rather do than watch this movie: Wipe my ass with sand paper. Masturbate with Icy Hot. Be Rex Ryan's computer chair for a day.

Opinion: Now every movie review I have done up to this point I have watched within a week of doing the review. I'll admit that I haven't seen this movie in years, but when my brother's friend Andrew mentioned this shitty movie to review, I couldn't pass it up. It's just that bad.

In case you weren't aware, this movie was based on a '60s television show starring Robert Conrad (anyone?). The show actually won an Emmy. Then Will Smith and Kevin Kline came along to act in the movie version, and this steamy log is the end result. Mr. Conrad was not into the movie from the start, but that's what my next paragraph is for. Horray for remakes!

Ok, so Conrad was approached to fill in a small part in this movie. Think of it as an homage to his old show, like "Hey, come act in this, so when we ruin your legacy, you won't be mad because you were apart of it". Well, after reading the script, he turned it down for because he had better things to do, like not act in this.

He was right with his choice, because when this movie swept the 20th Annual Razzie Awards winning (I guess you could call it that) 5 statuettes including "Worst Picture", good ol' Conrad accepted 3 of the awards to show his despise of it being made. I wonder what he did with them? I heard a ghost story that he put them in the trash, and years later, they were the cause of this big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Wait, what happened to the two he didn't accept?

Mother of God........

What I disliked: Where do I even start? There's just to many things to make fun of, like when you watch the Special Olympics at home. You can laugh all day long and not feel bad for doing it in public. Except you're still going to hell.

Can someone explain to me the futuristic approach they took? What a stupid concept. It's as if the writers took inventions from the future that involve power (electric wheelchair, powered hang glider airplane thing, catapults, etc.), smoked a lot of weed, and thought "hey, if we make them steam powered, then it'll seem like it was all possible. GENIUS!" O, I almost forgot one of the inventions. To top it off, A HUGE FIREBALL SPITTING SPIDER THAT RUNS ON CRANKS AND STEAM POWER. Yea, that shits deeeefinitely possible. The only way I could ever believe that this is even remotely possible is if somehow they incorporated Back To The Future 3 into all of this, and Marty McFly had shown the Cripple how Transformers work.

I also disliked Will Smith, but does that surprise you? I haven't like Big Willy since Fresh Prince of Bel Air, partly because that was the last time he played a black guy. Well he does have a gun and kills a lot of evil white people, so I guess you can consider him black in this movie. Wait, a black guy killing a lot of white people. Did Spike Lee direct this?

O, and he did his typical one liners that are o so amusing. In fact, let's play a game. It's called "Name that Big Willy Movie", and no, it's not a porno game. I give the line, you name the correct shitty Will Smith Character.

Welcome to Earf
You know what the difference is between me and you. I make this look good
That's it, no more Mr. Knife Guy (Ugh, that just makes me wanna punch you)
Yo Uncle Phil!

The more you get right, the more pathetic your life gets. I know, I got them all right. It's sad.

So we covered the plot and Will Smith, which accounts for 90% of the shittyness. Spellcheck just said that word doesn't exist, but this movie is so shitty, it has been created. Send that to Dictionary.com. Now, what is going to account for the final 10%? Could it be Kevin Kline, who hasn't EVER done a movie I liked, besides his role in Orange County, and he only gets props on that because that's a hilarious movie and his face was in it.

Or, could it be the other shitty actor, the Cripple. I could go down that rout of making fun of cripples, but will I? Yes, if you know me, I will. WHEN HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFRAID OF A CRIPPLE TAKING OVER THE WORLD! Seriously. I'll be afraid of the possessed doll Chucky, whom I could kick across the room, before I ever take a Christopher Reeves seriously. AND HE'S SUPERMAN!

Well, I think we get the point. This movie sucked. Now, I'm sure there are plenty of good things to write about. Right?

Things I liked: Selma Hayek's tits. But they didn't even come out all the way. So it's a halfie on what I liked, kinda like the halfie I got from seeing them bouncing around.

Favorite Scene: The one where they get chased by a magentic disc that is supposed to decapitate them, but it doesn't. So in reality, the scene sucked, because they didn't get hurt, and the movie continued. After writing that, I'm sad again that watched this at one point in my life.

Interesting Facts:

• At an official $150 million (unofficial $180 million) it stands as the most expensive movie produced by Warner Bros. and the most expensive movie released in 1999. HAHAHAHAHA fail.
• The film underwent costly re-shoots in an attempt to inject some humor after it was found that test audiences weren't sure if it was supposed to be a comedy. HAHAHAHAHA fail.
• Will Smith turned down the lead role in The Matrix (1999) to star in this movie, being a fan of the television series. He later said this was the worst decision he made in his career. HAHAHAHAHA fail.

Final Comments: What more can I really say? I hated this movie, hated the actors, and hated what this movie tried to do. I agree 100% with Robert Conrad on not wanting to put this movie to a studio because, after he read the script, he knew it would suck. HOW COME KNOW ONE ELSE SAW THIS COMING! After Big Willy did this movie, he starred in "The Legend of Bagger Vance". Only if he had a good Caddy to tell him to take mulligan on this movie.

1/5 Kevo's - Did you expect anything else. Just like it did in the past, this movie takes the cake for worst movie ever, on this website that is.

Time to end it on a quote, right? Here it is...

"I'd rather cut my dick off than see this movie again"

-Kevo

From Deniro to Zero

Yea, maybe it's a pretty cheesy title, but hey, that's me. Also, he is the reason I am sitting at my computer with a new post, so I might as well put him in the title. Now, what is this post about? Here are your choices.

Is it...

A) Robert Deniro also had sex with Tiger Woods
B) Chuck Norris' favorite number is Zero, because he killed every other possible number
C) What is going to happen when all of our esteemed, older actors start fading away

Well, if you guessed A or B, you're wrong. Although they are probably true, that's not what this post is about. It's about our actor change over. Let me begin.

I was watching the movie "Everybody's Fine" on vacation the other day, and it hit me in a funny way. In case you don't know, Deniro plays a grandpa who is like all of our grandpas, old and out of touch with society (some may even crap their pants while complaining that their cell phone doesn't have a big enough font). He decides to surprise his kids on Christmas by visiting each of them, but they are disconnected because their deceased mother was who they related too. I never finished the movie (2/5 Kevo's), but seeing Denioro play a very aged man had me wondering "when our elder actors pass away, who's going to take the torch in Hollywood"?

We all have a soft spot for our favorite actors. Like, for instance, the time my brother Tim told my dad that John Wayne was a shitty actor during dinner, and dad proceeded to flip the table and choke Tim with an American Flag screaming "NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE DUKE!". Now, John Wayne is dead (along with Dad's soul) and a new group came in. They are: Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Robert Deniro, Robert Duvall, Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, etc. This is nature's way of preserving Hollywood. So, I put together 3 groups of actors that are tops of their age group. Kinda like coordinating age groups in little league baseball, but with millionaires.

Group 1 - The elderly of 70+, aka "Grey Dawn"
Robert Deniro
Robert Duvall
Al Pacino
Christopher Walken (tear)
Jack Nicholson
Morgan Freeman
Michael Caine
Clint Eastwood
Dustin Hoffman

Ok, that's enough. Each of these actors/directors are esteemed. Everyone has an Academy Award (Jack has 3) and have been in incredible movies. However, they could all pass away at any moment (RIP Dennis Hopper)

Group 2 - The Middle Aged 40+, aka "Mid-life Crisis"
Tom Hanks
Ed Harris
Russell Crowe
Denzel Washington
Edward Norton
Matt Damon (2 months away, so count it)
Brad Pitt
Johnny Depp

Most of the younger actors here are in their prime and winning many awards. Each has at least been nominated for an Oscar, and have incredible movies under their belt.

Group 3 - The Young Guns <40, aka "New School"
Leonardo Dicaprio
Casey Affleck
Sam Rockwell
Christian Bale
...........

There may be many more on this list you want to include, but would everyone agree? I feel that Group 1 and 2 are universally accepted as great actors. Group 3? All I can think of are those guys, and Bale and Rockwell haven't even been nominated for an Oscar. So what's our consensus here? Well, let's go back to the board.

And your choices are....

A) Start sleeping with Tiger Woods and you'll be famous
B) It is hard to be considered for an Oscar before age 40 because you need time to develop your career
C) Hollywood is doomed
D) The cycle is alright, I am just blinded from becoming a 23 year old pessimist who wishes he was back in college and not unemployed

Well, you figure it out and get back to me. I'm around.

KEVO OUT

Top 10 Best Actors Currently

Welcome back fuckers! Yea, it's Kevo back with another Movie post. However, this post isn't about movies, but actors. I figured since I have a lot to talk about with movies, I should post something about the beautiful, talented, insatiable people who star in the hits you love. No, I'm not talking about pornstars. I'm talking about actors. You know, the people who are a part of such hits as Troll 2, Megaladon, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 Secret of the Ooze (I will drop everything to watch that movie just to relive my 10 year old days). Ok, seriously, I have put together 10, that's right, 10 actors who are currently killing it in the "acting" category.

Listen, when I say "killing it", I mean they can play any part and do it well. They don't do just one role over and over (Sorry Denzel Washington, but you have been type casted for some time. If you happen to read this review, I would bow down to your skills, but def. not someone who is of my most talented. I still totally heart you though bro). Also, I don't list actors who were good back in the day. I know Pacino, Deniro, and yes Christopher Walken are amazing actors, but hey haven't done great movies in a looooong time. So, as much as I love their work, we are focusing on future talent. Actors I mention have done many different roles that show how different they can be. Something that us people in the "biz" like to call "range". So, without further or due, here is my list (not necessarily in order). I will put the person along with great movies that express how talented they can be.

James Franco - Pineapple Express, Milk, Spider Man, Many different soap operas (yea it's wierd, but to do such a range is verrry impressive)
Sean Penn - Mystic River, Dead Man Walking, Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Leonardo Dicaprio - Titanic, Shutter Island, Inception, The Departed
Christian Bale - Batman Movies, American Psycho, The Prestige
Brad Pitt - Fight Club, Inglorious Basterds, Seven
Edward Norton - 25th Hour (soooo good BTW), American History X, The Illusionist, Rounders
Kevin Spacey - The Usual Suspects, Glenngarry Glen Ross, American Beauty
Tom Hanks - Fuck you if you don't love him. I'm not even gonna name his movies cause he rules
Don Cheadle - Hotel Rwanda, Funny or Die, Oceans Movies, Crash
Johnny Depp - Edward ScissorHands (one of my favorite movies as a kid), Blow, Pirates movies, Fear and Loathing, Chocolat

Now, everyone thinks their top ten list is the best, right? Well, fuck them, cause mine is the right one. Mmmmm, maybe not. BUT, there may be reasons you think it isn't and you have some actors that are the best, right? Well, maybe the following actors are on your list and I can possibly change your mind.

Denzel Washington - Great actor, but please do another role besides you yelling at someone. You used to do some great shit like Philadephia, and now they just type cast you into being a mean asshole who has a right to fuck everyone up.

Al Pacino - Dude, you were the reason movies were amazing.............yea, I said "were". You haven't done anything good in a long time. Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, Godfather, damnit you were like the Jesus Christ of Actors. Now, you do crappy movies. 20 years ago, you'd be on top of my awesome list.

Robert Deniro - Read PapaCino's list. You were awesome man, now you don't do great movies. Raging Bull, Casino, Taxi Driver. Now, you reprise roles like Meet the Parents, Fockers, etc. Don't make me cry anymore for you.

Matt Damon - You're movies are amazing to this day. Don't get me wrong. However, you need to stop being this badass guy who can kick the shit out of everyone. you are the white version of Denzel. You were soooooooooooo close to making my top ten, but just missed. You have a lot of talent, but you fall short in showing it in your movies because you haven't shown range in a long time. Go back to your roots Will Hunting.

Nicholas Cage - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH..........I hate you

Keanu Reeves - HAHAHA read above. Plus, why the hell does every director think you're the perfect person to play the roles that save the world? I took a shit earlier today that has more potential to save the world than you do. I hope you die in a telephone booth where you're career started. Eddie Van Halen is never going to join your rock band with your no talent ass in it. Wylde Stallions!

Jack Nicholson - Listen, you are of the greatest actors ever. I even have one of your movies sitting on my table right now, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". However, you don't do much that shows range anymore. It was veeeery hard to keep you off my list, but it had to be done. Please, put something together soon that will make me put you on top. You know you deserve it.

Ok bitches. That's about all I have to say about that. Hate me, love me, do whatever. We all have our opinions, but mine are supreme.